Five Dating Dilemmas for Gay Men (And How to Avoid Them)


No one asked us but the answer is yes, you should be taking a daily multivitamin.

We have all been through our fair share of dating blunders, pitfalls and disasters. If you are single, it is easy to get discouraged after a few too many dating disappointments.

But fret not, because there are men out there who are just like you, and it only takes finding one to make you forget all the other failed attempts at love.

However, even if you find a guy who seems to be the right fit, you still might run into more than a few dilemmas that can cause you to break up if you don’t know what to look out for. Here are a few pitfalls to avoid, and how to avoid them.

You are in drastically different income brackets.
When someone makes a significantly greater amount of money than the other, it can create a power struggle than may leave the “less fortunate” of the two feeling “less than.” When all of a sudden, you are going to restaurants you can’t afford and destinations that are out of reach for your own wallet, it can make you feel more like a purchased good than an equal partner. To put an end to this, strike a balance in the budget. If you two are meant for each other, work on doing things together where both of you can contribute. Sure, it may not be dollar-for-dollar. But if one of you swings for the coffee date on Tuesday, the fancy dinner on Friday will be way more fun and way less of an issue for both of you.   

One of you is a homebody, the other is a party boy.
It only makes sense that the quiet boy in the corner becomes the object of affection for the life of the party. The law of opposites attract has always been finite, which means it may come with some difficulties when it is implemented. When the wallflower falls in love with the party boy, the struggle to strike a balance in this couple’s social life can be quite difficult. This is why both men need to value trust and independence above all. If this relationship is going to work, both parties will need to be comfortable with the extroverted one going out for drinks with the guys, while the homebody curls up with Netflix every now and again.

You are both vers-bottoms.
Sure, you played up the “vers” card when you two first met, but now it’s a few months into the relationship and it turns out… he did too. However, this is one problem that can be very fun to solve. Anal play comes in many forms, so as long as the two of you take your Pure for Men and keep an open mind, this doesn’t have to mean the end of a potentially great thing. Go to the toy store, start talking about your fantasies, just explore! You never know what exciting pleasures that might come out of this dilemma.

You don’t get along with his friends.
In the beginning of any romance, this problem is almost a non-issue. The focus is still on deciding if you two are a good match, rather than measuring compatibility with his friend circle. But the moment things do start to get serious is when the opinions of his friends come into play. Sometimes, the redefining of boundaries between your boyfriend and his friends can be difficult, if they are used to him being perpetually single. Other times, his friends may think that they can just wait you out until you are no longer in the picture. But no matter the issue, put your best game face on and just keep trying to find common ground.

You have different communication styles.
Whether it is due to an age difference or a brain difference, having two different communication problems can cause quite the unwanted turmoil in a relationship. If he likes to call and you prefer texting, you two can easily mistake each other’s preference as a sign of neglect. But just like any language, it is relatively easy to learn someone else’s communication style. And if the two of you are truly a match, picking up the phone instead of sending a text is a pretty easy way to keep your significant other smiling.

Until things start to pick up, make the most out of your open calendar by reconnecting with friends who you are typically too busy for.